THE DARSHAN OF GRANDMA
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 When I was three years old, I went to live with my maternal Grandparents. My every memory of them is of their nurturing love and care for me over the following four years. My grandfather died when I was nine, and now my Grandmother, in my 44th year, has passed away too, at age 97. There was a great intimacy between us for most of my life; the scent of her skin, the wrinkles in her face, her charming smile are all indelibly etched into my consciousness. I feel like some of my most important hours were spent sitting beside her in her reclining chair. Her life was a long one, and in recent retrospect, I realize that my part was such a small piece of Ethel M. Robinson’s many years. For the past three years the people who had the most contact with Grandma were the ladies who worked at the Hillcrest Manor Assisted Living Facility in Jamestown, California. This past April when I attended to her bedside and she was letting go of this life, I got to meet and know some of the people who cared for her. Dozens of people who worked at the home made of point of telling me how important she was to them, explaining that she would always smile to them. A number of them said how “seeing Ethel smile at them” was the most positive part of their entire work day. In yoga we talk about having Darshan with someone who is a holy person. Darshana is the “paying respect to a holy man or a sacred site in order to receive blessings and purification from that presence. Every encounter with a guru or holy person can be regarded as darshana.”1 A guru or holy person in this context, is someone who has entered into the stream that is beyond passions, false views, doubts and clinging. She is a person who has comprehension of what is real and unreal. Last summer, Grandma and I had some time together. Each morning I would go to see her. I, concerned about her fragile body asked her if there was anything she was afraid of. She said “no, there wasn’t anything she was afraid of”. It gave me some degree of inner peace to hear her say that and to know that she meant it. Worried about her coming death, I projected that she would be worried too. But that was not so. I think she had clarity for a long time regarding what is real and unreal. She had moved beyond fear and clinging. She had entered the great stream referred to as Darshana. Grandma offered Darshan with her smile and presence; it was a tremendous gift. Thinking of her smile reminds me of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama’s smile. Even from a photograph he extends a peaceful presence to me. The Dalai Lama’s smile, the smile of my Grandmother, provide for me a heart-pulling glimpse of the truth that wise and (w)holy persons impart with their Darshan. May I extend this wish - that we all be able to open the gate, enter the stream, and be those that receive and those that give blessings to all whom we meet. 1. The Encyclopedia of Eastern Philosophy and Religion; Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, Hinduism. Edited by Stephan Schuhmacher, Gert Woerner. Shambala, Boston 1994. |
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